Every time around this year I like to take a moment or two (and sometimes possibly up to a few weeks) and reflect on this past year.  Did I keep my word?  Did I try to keep my goals?  Have I been able to accomplish anything other than work or play?

This past year was a rough year.  I am not saying this to state it was worse for me than for you, all I am trying to say is that for me, personally, it was a hard year.  I could no longer bounce back as easily as I did in my twenties, okay thirties as well.  When the hard times hit, I had to wait for the shock to wear off some and then absorb all that happened.

All of my life I had been a planner.  I planned for everything, so I should have been prepared for this past year, but I wasn’t.  It hit me right between the eyes and then some and I needed to find a way to get through it one way or another.

Here is where I made a huge mistake.  There was a lesson to be learned from all of this.  One of the first requirements of this lesson me was for me to be patient.  Not my virtue sad to say.  Nonetheless, I had no other option.  I had to be patient in order to recognize the next portion of the lesson.  So I waited and put my trust in Him.

I always thought I could handle anything, that I had an inner strength to pull me through.  I was partially right, but mostly wrong.  I cannot handle everything and I do not personally have strength.  I have no control over my circumstances, least of all myself.  It is when one has fallen so far and becomes so broken, clarity makes an appearance, but one must be willing to not only accept the results of that clarity, but also be willing to let go and give it all to Him.  It is the surrendering of our problems and worries that brings us a sense of calmness and a peace of mind.  Once we acknowledge that we cannot on our own resolve the issue or issues at hand and we offer it all up to Him, we can get through whatever comes our way.  Sometimes we are arrogant and feel we have all of the power.  But I am here to tell you that none of us have any power and to feel that we do is not only incorrect, but it is disrespectful to our Lord.

I am not saying my releasing of my doubts, fears and worries (the Lord knows the load I carry and how I tend to hang onto everything) was an easy thing to do.  I have been so conditioned by this world that my first instinct is to “woman up” and just handle it.  By clinging to this silly notion of being “super-woman”, all I have managed to do is waste time and live longer in the mire of it all.

The next part of the lesson was to learn to stop complaining.  I understand that we all go through crises and such, and I am not demeaning the suffering some go through.  However, if all I do is focus on myself and complain about every little thing, what is actually being accomplished?  I am only adding fuel to the fire and making things worse.  My attitude is poor and my outlook is not much better.  I need to make an adjustment and again, I repeat that once I give it all to Him, I am at peace and my complaining is shelved.

When I shift the focus off of myself and my problems I am able to free up time to focus on His word and on others.  When I learned this part of the lesson I became determined to put those words into action and soon a new resolution was found.  I look at life with a new perspective and realized I am just a speck in all of this.  There are others who need someone to focus on them and I believe He is asking that of all of us.  We are to be a part of the solution and not a contributor to the problems of this world.

On the Christian radio station I listen to, is the song “Do Something” by Matthew West.  The song starts off with the man complaining about all of the injustices in this world and the man is demanding God do something about it.  He realizes that God said he did do something he created mankind to be strong enough to stand up for one another to find a resolution to the problems that plague us.  So many times we want to shift the blame onto someone else or onto God, but we fail to see how even if it is a small reaction on our part, we can actually do something to try to make life better for someone else.  It actually is quite the empowering song.  It motivated and spoke to me.

It made me stop and ponder my life and where I have been and where I would like to go.  I am making it my goal to listen to what He is telling me and then to act on it.  I do not want to pass the blame, but rather I want to take ownership of the issue instead and be a cog in the wheel of the solution found for the said issue(s) at hand.

So I want to make a New Year’s resolution at the eleventh hour and vow to be more responsible for those that are in need and are not able to fend for themselves.  I vow to do something now and not put it off.  This is my window of opportunity and I need to take advantage of that.  However, this is more than just a resolution it is a lifestyle change.  It will be hard at times, but I need to persevere.  I may get discouraged, but His support will carry me through.  That is the comfort I need and the assurance that if this is His will – it cannot fail.  It will succeed.  Remember if God is for us who can stand against?  Hold onto that, stand firm, keep yourself in the race and do something now.

Happy New Year’s everyone!