Stand Behind Your Plans

Every New Year’s Eve since I can remember (then again I am getting older by the minute so that isn’t too easy for me), I have always made plans for big changes in my life.  It was detailed, it was precise and it received my approval to put it into action.

 

Now taking action was the hard part.  At first, I went full steam ahead determined to get whatever plan I had designed, going.  And it went all right.  It went going, going, gone in a matter of days (and I am being quite generous when I say days).

 

Yes, I admit it, I am a procrastinator.  I am so good at avoidance and not so good at accomplishments.  I barely get past the dream stage of the project or I inundate myself with so many projects, I become overwhelmed, get discouraged, and nothing gets done.

 

It infuriated me so much I came up with a six step program to help me and others like me with this problem.  I chose six steps, not because I am lazy, but I figured since I was putting things off, six steps would be a little bit easier for me to reach my goal than twelve. I mean it will take twice as long as the average go-getter.  Hey I gave myself credit for at least dreaming up the program.  I never fully developed the program itself.  What did you expect?  I am in recovery!  It will take some time for me to master this (hint:  thus the problem!).

 

Why do people put things off?  Aren’t we taught to never put things off for tomorrow when we can get it done today?  Who came up with that by the way some over-achiever who wanted to show off?  I digress (sorry there was a slight build up inside me.  I do feel better by the way.)  I had to search deep down inside of myself to find the answer.  For me, it was fear of responsibility and of success.  Why is it success scares the dickens out of me (sorry Charles), but failure seems to be so acceptable?

 

I had to look back in the recesses of mind to find some explanation.  My mind is a bit cluttered (nothing new) and I had to move things around to find what I was searching for.  Back then, I really did not have any self-esteem.  I am not sure how it began and I really do not want to rehash old memories, or in my case, nightmares.  I zeroed in on the fact that success and I had nothing in common and I just could not make it happen.

 

Now I had to pose another question.  Was my lack of self-esteem holding me back from trying to be a success?  What a shame that I put this off for so many (too many) years that I could never move past the dream stage of any aspiration.

 

I decided, after much thought, to finally do something about it.  I decided to take a chance for once.  One, like I previously mentioned, I am not young any longer. Opportunityis getting tired of knocking on my door for so long.  Besides, I may not have another chance other than now.  Another reason is to see what I am made of (sugar and spice and everything nice) and what I can do if I follow through.  I decided to ask for direction(s) (I apologize to any man who is offended by the mere thought of asking for direction(s).  I know.  I understand your dilemma.) and step outside of my comfort zone.  To be honest it was quite uncomfortable.  I was anxious, I was nervous, I was eyeing that quart of ice cream in the freezer (Comfort food rules!), but I jumped off that fear bridge and did it.  And you know what?  First of all, I am proud to say I can still jump, but more importantly, I received validation the moment I did so (its okay if it only was mine).  I did it.  I completed a task and I did not die.  Did I succeed or fail?  That is yet to be determined in the full sense since it just begun, but in the smallest sense I succeeded.  I made a plan and completed it from beginning to end.  I took a dream and made it a reality.  I really kicked my ninth grade lack of self-esteem in the butt and in turn, for once I felt empowered.  It felt good.  I feel good (sorry that James Brown song is now playing in my mind).  I am ready to tackle another opportunity and see where it leads me (I do not want to get ahead of myself.  I did mention I am still in recovery didn’t I?).

 

Take a chance, try the task at hand.  As Nike says:  Just do it!

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