A New Year’s Eve Promise

The clock for this year is winding down and it won’t be long before we usher in 2014.   I have no idea where 2013 went, but I have to be honest and say I am glad it is almost over.


The past 2 years have been very difficult ones for me and I am anxiously waiting to see where 2014 leads me.  I am trying very hard to be optimistic and I am in dire need of some good news.


Every year at this time I get the desire to set an unrealistic goal for myself (usually I choose one that I know deep down inside will fail to come to fruition) and plan for all of the possibilities my achieving this goal will bring in the next year.  I have wished for a new someone in my life (this one is getting ready to be put out to pasture since every guy I become interested in is either interested in me first and I do not realize it until well after the fact, and he then had moved on, or I set my sights on someone that is just not right for me.  Plus I have to accept the fact that if I haven’t found someone by now, the odds are against me from doing so), I have prayed hard for a concrete job that lasts longer than 2-3 months, wished for a nice financial windfall (yeah, that will happen one day long after I have passed on) and I have tried to get myself to follow a healthier path in life.  Either I am choosing the wrong goals, not committed to the goal, or I just cannot catch a break.


Why do I do this to myself?  It is likely that I purposefully set myself up to fail.  I must be getting older because I no longer have the inclination or the time to find out why this never works.  So this year I am setting a goal that is more achievable.  I have decided not to put myself through the ringer again.  Either I choose a goal to follow through with or my goal will be no goal.  Am I willing to make the sacrifice needed to achieve this or should I set the bar so low that I cannot fail; thus making this a no-goal goal?


I decided instead to take things as they are and try to find ways to improve several areas of my life in which I have some control; thus giving me an edge at possibly succeeding.  I cannot tempt fate for a new love, but I can focus on finding the right job. Money and I have never gone well together, but I can try to concentrate on my eating better and becoming more active.  The thing is that I need to not label these actions as a said goal, but rather think of it as a life change to improve myself.  It should not be something that can be achieved in a month or two, but something that takes time to become a habit or prompt me to make a change for the better.


I do not want to be unrealistic here.  I have the necessary tools to achieve these things, but I have to be committed and set my mind on making it happen.  I need to stand firm and not run the other way at the first sign of a struggle.  For example, I know eating better and being active are necessary focal points to strive for in order to live longer and be healthier.  It isn’t an easy objective, but it is attainable if I realize I have to give it my full attention in order to accomplish the goal.  If I fail to do this, then I might as well be living in a fantasy world, for nothing will ever prosper from lack of trying.  I look at it this way, I have nowhere else to go but up if I want to live a better quality of life.


Now I have something to build upon.  In order to enjoy that better quality, I need a secure job to finance that life request.  I am still vital and can still be productive for an employer.  I have to use whatever means necessary to accomplish this.  By staying in top career form and networking, I may be able to find something in my field this year.  I cannot afford to be negative or to be lax.  Without a job, I cannot pay my bills nor can I be proactive in my desire to maintain a healthier lifestyle.


Food for thought, and yes, for me it always comes back to food.  Food is what got me here today.  For too many years I have been stubborn and played the fool.  I failed to think of my future and was too connected to the here and now only.  Well now I have to suffer the consequences of those poor decisions, but if I play my cards right, I still have a chance to make the needed corrections and find some success from all of this.


I can no longer be who I once was.  I have to bite the bullet (don’t you love all of the platitudes?) and change or there will be no need for future goals.  I will no longer be around.  It is time for me to make a decision once and for all.


So this year, I am assessing myself and making tweaks in my lifestyle in order to move forward.  It is not a goal that I make at the last minute and see how fast it falls apart.  It is something I need to accomplish in order to progress further with my life.  The time for making silly wishes and dreams has to be set aside.  I need to be serious and determined to really make my mark this time.


It is sad that it took me this long to get here, but now that I am here, I have to decide if I am worth fighting for (even if it is only fighting with myself) or if I should throw in the towel and just give up.  I do not like giving up or selling myself short, so I guess my decision is to fight.


I will let you know next year at this time if I am still on course or not.  So this year I will no longer ponder about Auld Lang Syne.  Why become fixated on something that has already happened and has long since passed on by? Move on already!


My advice to anyone who wants to really make a change in their life is this:  Stop living in a fantasy world and dreaming about what will come of that fantasy.  Instead issue yourself a reality check, set a goal you can really commit to and start a new tradition.  Just get yourself and your house in order first and then once you have completed your goal, you can fantasize how to celebrate that completion.  To everyone I wish a very Happy and Successful New Year.

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