Have you ever feared something so much that it actually came to pass?  You kick yourself and say “I knew it would happen.  I just knew it!”  The result paralyzed you and made you question whether or not the outcome could have been different.  Well, I am here to tell you that the outcome could have been different if you would have waited for the opportunity to arise.

We all set ourselves up from time to time.  We take a situation, fear the worst, and then when the worst happens, we hang our head in defeat and really beat ourselves up over this.  However, we fail to realize that it was our actions that made this happen.  We had a hand in it and either we did not realize it or we did not admit it to ourselves at the time.

We assumed the worse and we played along with that negative attitude, so that the only outcome would be negative.  We pigeon-holed ourselves so that all of the other options were dismissed or discarded; thus making this a self-fulfilling prophecy.  It boils down to this, we have no one to blame but ourselves, so own up to it.  I do not mean to sound so harsh, but we need to face reality, not what we deem is reality, but what is actually reality.

Opportunities come and we have a chance to make something out of this or pass it by.  It may come to fruition and be a success or it may not.  No one knows until they try, but you have to try in order to find that out.  We cannot look into a crystal ball to say what the future holds.  We have to take a leap of faith and go for it.

So why do we fail to take advantage of an opportunity? That is the million dollar question.  In my case, I was afraid of succeeding.  I knew if I succeeded there would be more responsibility; thus more pressure for me to continue to succeed.  That is scary.  My fears would jump in and say it was just a one time scenario.  They would convince me that it would not, nor could not, happen again; thus making me look bad and feel like a failure.  I wasn’t afraid of failing for I was used to that, but to step outside of my comfort zone and to possible succeed and prove my fears wrong, frightened me to death.

We all have a picture of ourselves in our mind.  It most likely is exaggerated and definitely is not accurate.  The more negative we tend to be the more distorted our picture becomes.  However, if this is all that we feed off of, then this image becomes who we see ourselves as now being.

I want to point out that we have a choice.  We can choose to change that image in our minds and we can choose to make better choices so that we can increase our odds for success.  How do I propose this?  I suggest we change our attitude.  We do not have to settle for the negative and we can re-focus our attention on the positive.  However, this is easier said than done and we have to be determined to make this choice.  It will take discipline, practice, and determination.  We need to encourage ourselves not let discouragement in.  It is a daily battle and it is never over. Yet it can be won.

Start off with a blank slate.  Decide what it is that you want to do or accomplish and if the risk is worth the effort.  Take notes and on a sheet of paper decide what the pros and cons of this decision are.  Determine how to achieve this dream and then weigh the options.  Be totally honest in your assessment and then devise a plan.  Once a plan is thought out, you need to strategize how it will be implemented and how it will be carried out.  Arm yourself with the knowledge that there will be rough patches and that sometimes it will feel like everyone is against you.  When these rough patches surface you must decide if the cost is worth it.  Once you have determined this, then you will need to focus on how you can progress from one step to another.  You will need to fight the urge to give up or let others opinion determine your success or failure.  Removing the negative is a long hard process and it is never ending.  Someone or something will always be there to tell you what you can and cannot do.  Negativity will not help move you forward. It will only allow you to give up, break down or fail.  It is here that you must swallow your fear and continue down the set path.  You need to replace the negative with the positive.  You need to set your goals and determine what the reward will be once those goals are met.  No one else has that control.  It is in your power and you need to realize that.

There is no secret for success, but there is a key ingredient to becoming successful.  You have to maintain a positive mindset and then hold on to it.  It is in your power to make the most of an opportunity or to waste an opportunity.  You have to decide if you want to take a chance and risk everything to find out if that dream is worth following.  There are no shortcuts.  There isn’t a cheat sheet.  And no, there are no guarantees.

However, the only outcome of not trusting your instincts and focusing on what could or will go wrong, is a sure path to failure.  Everyday someone will be against you or against an idea you have.  Most likely it will be a friend or a family member that will stand in your way.  Do not put your life in their hands.  Take a breath, decide if you want this opportunity, and go ahead and do it.  I would rather lose a friendship then pass by an opportunity that could have benefited someone else or changed the direction of my life for the better.  I realize that the chance for this dream to come true is more valuable than the costs involved.  I will not be a self-fulfilling prophesy, rather I will strive to be someone who has a dream and the drive to see that dream being realized.