Seeking to be perfect…

How do you determine the quality of your life?  Do you set standards that are achievable or ones that are set too high?  Are you able to sit back and relax or is the pressure so intense that your stomach is in knots?  Can you accept criticism or are you easily offended whenever anyone tends to state their opinion regarding you?


Ah perfection.  We want things to run smoothly and be perfect, but if we are wise enough, we realize this never happens no matter how hard we try.  Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to be perfect.  I wanted to make the right decisions and eliminate any conflict.  Then again I was a kid and I wore pink glasses (in place of the rose colored ones) and yes, my fashion savvy was non-existent.


As I grew older the pressure mounted more and more.  I hated when things did not work out the way that I had planned.  I was especially upset whenever I made a mistake.  I was striving for perfection and it would prove to be elusive.  The more elusive it became, the more determined I would become.  I was chasing after a dream, not a reality.  It took me many years to finally knock that wall down and it was not pretty when the realization finally hit me smack in my face.


What made me want to be perfect?  What was it that pushed me to the end of my so-called rope?  Perfection does not exist.  I know we live in a world, in which we can air-brush away someone’s flaws, or we run into people we assume are perfect, but it isn’t real.  We look at others and crave their life or lifestyle, but we are just playing another “the grass is always greener on the other side” game and let me remind you that once we get to the proverbial other side, the grass is not greener.  It is just different.


We need to not only recognize ourselves for who we actually are, but we need to see that everyone falls short on this issue.  In some areas we will be better off than someone else (or so we perceive), and in others we will fall short.  That is life.  We all have limitations and flaws alike.  We just need to see behind all of the hype that we are fed with daily by the media, by others opinions, or by our own assessments of what perfection really means.  We need to stand up for who we are regardless of what others think.


I may not be beautiful to the common eye, but I have a beautiful heart that shines much brighter.  I may not be the wisest person to ever live, but I have some insight every now and then.  I may not have a keen fashion sense, but my fashion fits me and that is who I aim to please.


I suggest that you take a good look at who you are and determine who you want to be.  Set realistic goals, but never give up the dream or the drive to achieve what your heart desires.  You can measure yourself in order to chart where you need to go, but to use someone else as a measuring stick won’t accomplish anything but aggravation.  They cannot see what you see nor can they fully understand your perception.


I used to read others work and mentally critique them and their grammatical skills (as if I had room to talk).  I would look at former co-workers productivity and expect theirs to meet mine.  I would look at friends or strangers and determine who was the better looking individual.  Boy was I all messed up!  I thought if I was the smartest, the most proficient, the quicker and swifter worker, and the prettiest person, then I was a success.  Success cannot be measured this way, because we are not all even in all aspects of our life.  Also we have no right to think we can achieve perfection.  There has never been and there will never be a perfect individual.  You can have one of the so-called aspects, but not all of the attributes.  I have yet to see a physically aesthetic person with the brains of Albert Einstein and a heart of gold who embodies everything.  If we do happen to see this one day, it will be a scientific experiment come to life – nothing more.  I believe that we can experience the full richness of life because of who we are and not because of some unrealistic ideal that will never be realized.


Don’t fill yourself up on jealousy, resentment, anger or bitterness because of perfection.  Take each person as they are and accept them for who they are regardless of some preconceived notion of what we expect them and ourselves to be.  Open your heart to others and love them fully in spite of their differences.  You may be surprised to find out how absolutely wonderful they are.  Yes, flaws and differences exist, and we can overlook them, because we are capable of so much more when we love people as they are.  We learn to drop this veil of impossibility and are able to learn from one another.  We just need to expand our vision and see all that comes with it.  We need to drop expectations that will never come to fruition and open up a blank canvas that can give us so much more in return.  Don’t box yourself in trying to achieve perfection, when you have all the room in the world to explore who you are instead.


So what if I don’t measure up to someone else?  I don’t need to.  I need to stay true to myself and accept and embrace all of my traits.  I need to see the wisdom of changing myself for the better if I have bad habits that weigh me down or prevent me from finding happiness in life.  I need to acknowledge that whatever I cannot change I have to just accept as it is.  Life can be a struggle that is certain, but it can be a worthwhile journey if you let go of the things that do not matter and strive to achieve what does matter.  I would rather show compassion to others, hold out my hand in friendship with anyone needing a friend, laugh at my flaws and possible revel in them, and learn to drop all of my silly misconceived notions.  I gain so much more this way and I lose so much unnecessary stress trying to be what I can never be.


Open your eyes and just look.  After that reflect on where you have been and focus on where you need to make a change.  However, make a change based on your needs, not on society’s or a stranger or friend.  Do not bother with someone else’s assessment of who you are and do not try to meet someone else’s expectations in order to find happiness.  It cannot come from someone else; it has to come from deep within.


Remember as a popular song this past year states: “let it go!” and then do just that.  I am not perfect, but I have never been happier being who I am.  Yes I am different, but I am me and that is the most important truth I need to accept and live by.

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