This Brick Wall Speaks; How I Learned to Not Run Away From, but Run Towards Life

Can you hear it?  It starts as a small sound and then as you get closer, the sound grows louder and more evident.  You look around and wonder where it is coming from.  And then it finds its voice and begins to speak and you take notice of it.  What is it?  It is the proverbial brick wall that was too stubborn to listen and take good counsel, but now as a crack emerges; it is forced to reveal its shame and secrets. How do I know?  Well, let’s just say that I am that brick wall and I am not only listening, but finally able to speak out on its behalf.


Lady, what are you on?  This may be the thought of the reader as the blog is being read.  First of all, I am free of any substance that may alter my train of thought.  I am using symbolism here to express my point.  Keep up with me my friend.


So what is it exactly that caused me to believe I was a “brick wall”?  The mere fact that over the years I have been offered much needed advice, but have stubbornly refused to follow it.  I could see the eyes of those speaking to me getting bigger and the look of exasperation on both of our faces increasing more frequently.  One side wanted to smack me upside the head, and my side was silently saying, “Thanks, but no thanks” and the communication lines broke and neither side could speak to the other.  A bit of the dramatics, but you get the gist.


Something had to change (re: someone) or ties would be severed forever and people that loved one another would walk away and give up.  I had to take a deep look at myself and see how I played into this communication breakdown and how I could seek a speedy and peaceful resolution, so as to preserve friendships.  It wasn’t easy and often I would get so upset because I felt I was misunderstood and that the other side could not see my point of view.  Yes, a part of me wallowed in this game of self-pity sprinkled with bouts of anger.


What came out of it was a different perspective of who I am and how I choose to be blinded by a false security message that the world constantly sends out, but it also ran deeper than that.  I was set in my ways and did not want to change.  I wasn’t misunderstood, but rather I chose to be blind to the issue at hand.  I prevented the change and I suffered because of that.


My last blog dealt with how to eat a healthy diet in order to maintain my weight and my diabetes.  That began the wall to start forming cracks and set it on the path of tumbling down.  I was starting to admit my problem and now I needed to address another key component:  the need to exercise.


I have never been keen on exercising, unless of course, it was pain-free and quickly producing results.  Yes, I am a commitment-phobe when it comes to exercising.  Oh, don’t let me fool you.  I can plan the routines with the best of them, I can buy the needed tools (clothes, gadgets and the like), but acting on all of this?  Count me out!  I could resort to my box of excuses (File cabinets could not hold the amount of excuses that I would have to avoid doing something!); I could feign a pulled hamstring, grab the remote and plop down on the sofa without any hesitation.  I would literally watch The Biggest Loser, cheer them on, sob when the moment hit me, and shovel pop, ice cream and whatever I ordered out, into my system.  It was a good thing that I had 911 programmed on my phone.  I was on the verge of a major catastrophe, but at that moment nothing seemed to scare me.


Common sense and I never really understood one another.  My friends and family, God bless them, offered sage advice, and as usual I avoided it again (thus the brick wall scenario).  I was good at running (not the sport) away, but never confronting the issue within myself.  That is until my health took a nosedive and the rough roads became too much to bear.  I have been in the hospital over the past 28 years around 14 times.  That is sad, but some of these times, were due to my lack of discipline towards my weight and health; basically I suffered the consequences of poor health management and lack of being proactive.


Well no more!  I am just plain tired and I need to walk down a new road; a road of self-discovery and awareness.  I need help and cried out to Jesus for answers.  I firmly decided if I was going to eat better, then I was going to go the full route and get into a healthy exercise plan.


I mentioned last time that once we receive the Holy Spirit, He indwells within us.  I also mentioned that we are told in 1 Corinthians 6:19   the following:  “You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives.  The Spirit is in you and a gift from God.  You are no longer your own.”  Now if I am eating better to preserve my body, it only makes sense that I exercise to maintain my weight or whittle down my weight.  It takes hard work, but the higher priority is to be obedient and respectful to Him; thus bringing glory to His name. The answer hit me in the face and I choose to lose this weight.  Yes, I can eat healthier, but what good will it do me if I just stop there and fail to press on further to better health by toning up?


In order to put things into a better perspective I need to set up an outline to make me accountable for my actions or lack thereof.  I mentioned that God is first; thus we are obligated to take care of our temple (body).  I started the process by eating healthier and maintaining the proper nutrients to stay healthy and be proactive.


The next step I believe we are called for is to implement discipline into our lives.  We take a weak area and through His guidance, we learn that discipline is crucial and much needed in our daily lives and walk.  We see that our weaknesses can be molded and shaped into an area of strength.  In 1 Corinthians 9:27 Paul makes the following statement:  “I keep my body under control and make it my slave, so I won’t lose out after telling the good news to others.”  In order to stay aligned with God, we need to have discipline; otherwise we would fall apart and fail to commit to the cause – His cause. We are obedient when we recognize that our bodies are a temple and we then seek discipline to preserve this temple.


Discipline is not an easy trait to acquire.  We, being weak and somewhat rebellious, need to be strengthened by Him in order for us to learn discipline.  I prayed for discipline when I began this new journey towards health.  I need to continue on fervently and faithfully for this next phase of the journey, exercise.


In order to draw strength by prayer, I must also keep in mind that I have a guarantee from the Lord as told in Philippians 4:13 when it was revealed that:  “Christ gives me the strength to face anything.”  We have been taught that with God nothing is impossible, and by taking that to heart, and applying this verse to our lives, we can do this and we can succeed.  Hold on to all of His promises and you will never be left alone or let down!


Changing your lifestyle is a battle and in a battle, one has to be prepared or one will fail miserably.  I have had enough failure in my time and I need, rather desire, more successes.  Again we learn in 1 Corinthians 9: 26-27 the game plan for battle:  “I don’t run without a goal.  And I don’t box by beating my fists in the air.  I keep my body under control, and make it my slave, so I won’t lose out after telling the good news to others.”  In order to win the battle we need to have a goal, we need to be committed to that goal, and we need to take action.  Don’t just talk about it, do it, make it happen.


So what have I learned from all of this?  I learned that promises made by God are true and carry me through whatever dark valley I walk into.  His word provides strength and that is a powerful tool as Isaiah 40:29-31 points out:  “The Lord gives strength to those who are weary.  Even young people get tired, they stumble and fall.  But those who trust the Lord will find new strength.  They will be strong like eagles soaring upward on wings; they will walk and run without getting tired.”  I cannot speak for you, but these words push me to go further, accept challenges and seek out opportunities that normally I would avoid.  I take His word to heart and though the path may be long and scattered obstacles may be right around the corner, I will risk falling (because I know He will catch me when I fall); thus, gladly encounter this, for Him.  I am, after all, indebted to Him for my life.


Brick by brick I am tearing down this wall for good.  I am taking chances for the right reasons and living in my faith that He has my back.  I will be obedient (and I am sure sore) and go wherever He leads me.  And I know just as 2 Timothy 4:7 promises, one day I will hear my Lord and He will tell me that:  “ I have fought well.  I have finished the race, and I have been faithful.”  I will have endured whatever the hardship and my reward will be seeing Him and living forever with Him and the grace He provided to me.  Pick up your challenge, look it over and set a goal, take it to Him in prayer.  Ask for guidance and strength, and believe with all of your heart that He will supply and meet all of your needs.  Then live it out and show Him what a good and faithful servant should act like.  I have spent a lot of time talking and now I need to do something and get moving.  Who would like to take the challenge and join in on this opportunity?  All are welcome.  God bless everyone.

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