Your Child’s Name is What?

Every now and then I tend to get a little long-winded and “spout off” about a topic.  Today, the topic is names that parents choose for their child. I am always amazed at the names parents choose to name their child.  I tend to wonder how much thought is actually put into this process.  Do they try to find a few names that they prefer and hold onto until the child is born?  Is it kept a secret because they’re superstitious or fearful that someone else may steal their chosen name and use it for their own child?  Do they think about the consequences if they choose an unusual name?  Are they trying to outdo another couple’s choice in the name game?  Basically, just what in the heck are they thinking?


It is often said that people name their kids after things they cherish.  That may be true.  Does that rule always work?  I mean I love McDonalds and Pizza Hut, but I will be darned if I have them running around the house.  “Come here McDonalds so I can spank your little sesame seed bun!”  No, “I’m not loving it” or rather I am unable to see the sense in that logic.


Years ago couples went with the most popular names for that year.  You had Lucas, Sienna, Molly and Benjamin to name a few.  Nice wholesome names that would not haunt the child until the end of time.  Times sure have changed.  Now it seems the weirder the name, the more likely it will belong to a kid.  Believe me celebrities aren’t the only ones corning this market.


I “googled” weird baby names (just out of curiosity) and came up with a few doozys from the Baby Center webpage.  Some of the top names for girls for the year 2012 are (drum roll please):  Admire (will she admire herself and be conceited or will others look up to her?), Excel (after the program or as a life goal?), Jury (and it seems they may be out for a bit on this one), and my favorite Yoga (after the exercise or as a female version of Yogi?  “I don’t know Boo Boo…).  The boys names are not much better, but let’s still roll them out anyways:  Alpha, Ball (a sibling can be named catch), Good Luck (yeah you will need it kid when other kids are teasing you), Hippo (the kid is being set up for taunting and low self-esteem), Legacy, and Thunder (will he be accompanied by Rain?  You can bet he will be heard loud and clear before he enters the room).


I know we all have the right to name our child whatever we please, but really?  It seems that the name begins to determine who the child will become and not who the child really is.  This child was conceived out of love, correct?  Shouldn’t we set “our” expectations for them aside and name them from a place of love?  It is the child after all who has to live with this name.  I would like to think we can set them on their path with a name befitting them and not causing ridicule to ensue.


Maybe if you are still determined to show your uniqueness (whoops that’s a potential name, shame on me) and flair for creativity (there I go again giving someone an idea), you could at least give them a normal middle name that they can use at a later date.  Just a thought but many people are known by their middle name instead of their first name.  Take C. (Christopher) Thomas Howell for example.  Okay so his first name is not weird, but you get the point.  There are ways for the child to get around this, unless of course, the parent gives them an even more absurd middle name.  They I will say a prayer for the poor child until he or she is able to legally change it.


I am not trying to say parents do not have the right to name their child whatever they want.  What I am saying is that the parent when choosing a name for that little bundle of joy, consider what the child will have to endure because of that name choice.  A name should be chosen out of love, and as a symbol of respect given to that precious gift you have been blessed with.  Just remember kids are smart, resilient, and are capable of holding a grudge.  Your child may never let you live that poor choice down. Also they may need years of therapy due to this and guess who will be expected to foot the bill?  Keep in mind the old saying, (well, now it has a different twist): Sticks and stones may break my bones, and names can definitely harm me.  Don’t be surprised by the names they may come up with for you!

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